I’ve always had this vague idea in my head that happiness is this point in life that I can reach.
If I work hard enough, make lots of friends, make money, travel, check off all the boxes…then I’ll be a “happy person”.
Other people seem to think the same way because I’ve been asked many times “Are you happy?”. I always struggle to answer them. Happiness just doesn’t seem to work that way. I start thinking…
- It’s not that black and white. There’s a spectrum of happiness
- What is happiness? Is it excitement? Is it being motivated? Is it laughing? Is it finding meaning?
- In this moment, I can be happy about some things and unhappy about others. I can be happy with my life in general, but unhappy about the gum I stepped on that day.
What I realized is that I don’t think happiness, however you define it, is a point in life that you can reach. There’s no one in life who’s achieved level 5 happiness and now they’re just happy all the time. Even the ones who seem to have it all, or always seem positive…they aren’t always happy.
Actually, if I was happy all the time that might not be so great. The moments of sadness in life are tough, but they make the moments of happiness that much better. There’s a spectrum of human emotion and happiness isn’t the only one that’s okay to have. You’re not broken if you’re not happy.
Whenever I feel stressed, angry or sad I try to accept it. They’re normal human emotions. Life is a crazy adventure and your emotions will ebb and flow with it.
So instead of thinking about how much I hate being stressed, I think about why I’m stressed and realize that given the situation this is a perfectly normal reaction.
And instead of asking myself, “Am I happy?” I try to ask myself things like…
- Why am I doing what I’m doing?
- Am I proud of what I’m doing?
- Who do I want to be and am I working toward that goal?
Happiness isn’t a phase in life you can reach. Happiness is in the moment. And when it’s not there, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It just means you’re human.
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Thanks to Mike Hrostoski for inspiring the post.
Photo cred: Angelo González