in Social Media

Cut Out the People that Don’t Rise you Up

scissorsThere are two kinds of people.

There are people who rise you up, give you energy and make you feel like you can accomplish anything.

Then there are people who do the opposite. They drain you of energy, they make you feel like you’re not good enough and take away your clarity.

I’m a people pleaser. Or said another way, I’m addicted to making friends. I really want people to like me. As a result I end up spending way too much time with that second kind of person.

And they LOVE hanging out with me, because the energy that drains from me fills them up. They talk about themselves a lot, they brag, they flaunt and they use you as a way to make themselves feel good.

Do you find yourself spending time with people like that?

I recently decided to cut out one of my relationships like this. It was really hard because I consider them a good friend. But I realized that every time I spent time with them, I’d leave feeling worse about myself. So I stopped spending time with them.

I immediately felt better once I made that decision.

I realized it let me focus my time on developing relationships with the people that rise me up, and that I rise up. When it’s mutual, it’s magical. Those are the people you should focus on.

You can apply this same approach to your team. You can choose who you get to work with. Great teams are built of people who help each other succeed. When you hate your job, it’s almost always because you’re surrounded by people who bring you down.

Same goes for social media. Do you follow people that make you feel like crap every time you see their posts because you get jealous? Unless you have a massive paradigm shift, you’re not going to stop being jealous any time soon. Just unfollow them.

Cut out the people who bring you down. Spend more time with the ones who rise you up.

  • adolfwitzeling

    “Same goes for social media. Do you follow people that make you feel like crap every time you see their posts BECAUSE you get jealous? ” 
    WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? If someone else’s post makes you feel like crap and makes you jealous, you might have an ego problem..or did I misinterpret that part?
    Social media and jealousy are not related in any way.

  • http://janetaronica.com/ JanetAronica

    “They talk about themselves a lot, they brag, they flaunt and they use you as a way to make themselves feel good.” << Yes!

    It can be hard to find friendships with people who can relate to being ambitious and shit, but also people who aren’t going to be competitive with you 24/7 and will just have fun for an afternoon watching a movie or something… and beyond that, people who are genuinely supportive. Keep being awesome though. Your friends are lucky to have you!

  • http://whatspinksthinks.com/ DavidSpinks

    JanetAronica exactly. I’m a competitive person too, and I catch myself bragging sometimes. But if that’s the entirety of the relationship, it’s not healthy and will only bring you down.

  • http://whatspinksthinks.com/ DavidSpinks

    adolfwitzeling sure they are. Everyone on social media puts out the most perfect version of themselves and their lives. So it’s easy to be jealous, or wish you have what they have. I agree, the real issue is probably internal. It *shouldn’t* make you jealous in the first place because you should be proud to be your own person. But the reality is, it can and often does make you jealous. So there’s no reason to continue to follow people who just make you feel bad about yourself. One day you may be able to change your mindset. Until then, don’t torture yourself.