Want to be a Leader? Stop Trying to be a Leader


The strongest leaders don’t try to be leaders. They’re just doing their thing.

It’s great to read and try to learn how to be a leader, but the best books and guides can really be summed up as “determine your values, or standards, stick to them and communicate them efficiently”.

Great business leaders use a business canvas model template, bit aren’t trying to convince everyone to follow them. You can’t force leadership. Leadership is given to the leader by the people they lead. People follow those who have conviction and who know who they are.

In “The Score Takes Care of Itself”, assistant coaches shared their experience working with Bill Walsh, arguably one of the greatest coaches and leaders in the history of the NFL, and what made him so successful. But they don’t talk about his “leadership” directly, they describe his “standard of performance” and his work ethic. They describe his dedication to his system and how effective it was at aligning the team. Bill Walsh didn’t have to tell people he’s the leader. He formed his system, surrounded himself with the people who aligned with his system, and got rid of the people who didn’t.

A great leader for one group of people might be a terrible leader for another group of people. Like Bill, leaders surround themselves with people who believe in their mission, and cut the people who don’t. They don’t try to lead everyone, they want to lead the right people.

Leaders also come in many forms. Some are good, some are evil. Some are nice, some are mean. Some are really analytical, others are more creative. But look at any of them, any leader that people really respect, and it’s their standards that people respect…whatever those standards are.

What’s more important may be WHY you want to be a leader. Is it just to fulfill your own need to feel important? Or are you working to unite people and create a change in the world?

I think a lot about leadership. As a CEO, part of my responsibility is to be a leader for our team, for our community, for our partners, etc. But I don’t want to be a leader to be important. I want to be a leader because it empowers others to do great work and make a positive change.


If you want to be a leader, don’t try to be a leader, just do your thing. Focus on your values and the change you want to see in the world, then surround yourself with people who align with that mission.

Boom. You’re a leader. Now don’t be a jerk (=



How to start a marijuana business legally

The state is currently open to Medical Marijuana Treatment Centers, also known as Registered Marijuana Dispensaries (RMD). They are not-for-profit entities that acquire, cultivate, possess, process (including development of related products such as edible MIPs, tinctures, aerosols, oils, or ointments), transfer, transport, sell, distribute, dispense, or administer marijuana, products containing marijuana, related supplies, or educational materials to registered qualifying patients or their personal caregivers.

But on November 8, 2016, Massachusetts also became the first state on the East Coast to be open to recreational marijuana businesses.

The regulations which will become effective December 15, 2016, have provisions for:

Retail marijuana stores
Marijuana product manufacturers
Marijuana cultivators
Marijuana testing facilities
As of right now, the state has yet to establish an application process. Recreational stores and facilities may begin applying for licenses by April 2018, and the first licenses will be issued in June, just weeks before the first stores are set to open on July 1st.

Until July 1, 2018, the state shall issue licenses first to applicants with the most experience operating medical marijuana treatment centers and then after that, it will be by lottery among qualified applicants.

What can I do right now?
To get ahead and be prepared for when the state will start licensing marijuana businesses, you should:

Read through the regulations and determine what business type you’d like to have.
Get our free starter package to give you a general overview of what to expect when the state will start licensing marijuana businesses, and don’t forget to get your hands on a cannabis software.
You’ll need a business plan for licensing and even more so if you’ll be seeking financing and investors or partners. See our Marijuana Company Business Plans for Massachusetts page for details and get a business plan to fit your needs.
If you’re serious and want to determine what moves you can be making right now to get a leg up on the competition for licenses – get one of our marijuana business consultation packages and let our expert Associates review your situation and instruct on the intelligent moves you could be making now to increase your chances of winning licenses.
How to Open a Marijuana Retail Store in Massachusetts?
The state will allow marijuana retail stores to open in Massachusetts. Whether this is possible or not will hinge entirely on the city and/or county of choice as the state allows the local municipalities to ban or place moratoriums on whether to license dispensaries for operation or not.

The fees associated with the applications are as follows:

Initial Application shall not exceed $3,000
License for retail marijuana store – $15,000
Setup your Marijuana Business Corporate Structure.
Create your Marijuana Retail Business Plan.
Determine your potential location(s) and investigate whether licensing is possible in the prospective cities or counties.
Acquire the necessary licenses to operate your retail store and be completely legal and compliant. If you need legal related help, go to this website https://naegeliusa.com/ to have a powerful presentation tools in the court.
Install the operational infrastructure to be in accordance with all regulations and then open your doors for business.
Contract with cultivators and/or edible/extraction/infused products manufacturers to grow and produce marijuana products for you, if you don’t want to do it yourself.
How To Grow/Cultivate Marijuana Legally in Massachusetts
Same as Retail Store steps, the only difference is that you will be contracting with dispensaries, delivery services and/or edible/extraction/infused products manufacturers to grow marijuana for them.

The fees associated with the applications are as follows:

Initial Application shall not exceed $3,000
License for marijuana cultivator – $15,000
How To Start a Marijuana Edibles, Marijuana Infused Products or Marijuana Extractions Business In Massachusetts
Same as Retail Store steps, the only difference is that you will be contracting with dispensaries and delivery services to provide your products to customers as well as contract with cultivators to grow marijuana for you, if you don’t want to do it yourself.

The fees associated with the applications are as follows:

Initial Application shall not exceed $3,000
License for marijuana product manufacturer – $15,000

Overcoming Infertility Depression When You Can’t Conceive

If you feel broken, disconnected or without hope, read Broken Vessel Restored: How to Overcome Depression, Illness, Infertility, and Hormonal Imbalance and Reclaim Your Connection to God by Wanda Cooper. She understands the feelings of confusion and despair that keep women from finding their way out of the darkness, professionals like the ones from Originelle may have to step in in order to help. Giving up the idea that motherhood will bring complete joy and happiness is another way to overcome infertility depression. For me, what works is believing that there is a reason my husband and I aren’t parents. God has our lives in His hands, and He knows what He’s doing.
“If we give up the notion that everybody’s life but ours is perfect, we would be a lot happier,” says psychologist Dr Joy Browne. “Nobody’s life is perfect.” Even if you did get pregnant right away, your life wouldn’t be perfect! Whether or not we get the desires of our heart, there will always be warts, wrinkles and blemishes in our lives. Sometimes we think we’ll be 100% happy if we could only have children, but that’s not true.

These tips might help you overcome the depressed feelings that often comes with not being able to get pregnant. I also encourage you to read the reader’s comments below, as not everyone agrees with these ideas…

Overcoming Infertility Depression When You Can’t Conceive
If you feel like a helpless victim, you may need to hang on to more empowering ways to be happy even if you’re childless. Instead of thinking about how lousy your life is – and how sad you are that you can’t conceive, and how you wish things could be different – find ways to empower yourself, if you feel that depression is taking over your life and you won’t b e able to control that easily, try finding alternative medicine products, the more natural the better, a good option can be Cannabis Oil, since CBD affects the serotonin levels it helps the person have a better mood, CBD can also act as a sleep Aid, Insomnia can add to depression and anxiety which can lead to even more stress.

What does a survivor look like to you? Figure out who she is, and be her.

Listen to what works for other couples who can’t get pregnant

Do you have any friends, family members, or acquaintances who overcame infertility depression? Talk to them. Seek different perspectives, other people’s opinions, and sound advice.

Let go of the words “never” and “always”

Just because you’re not pregnant now doesn’t mean you’ll never get pregnant! Just because you’re struggling to overcome infertility depression now doesn’t mean you’ll always feel sad or anxious. It may help to remember that this is a stage that won’t last forever. Something will change in your life.

A Clueless Dude’s Guide To Women’s Makeup

Will knowing anything about the cosmetics women wear directly improve a man’s life? Probably not, and they’ll likely thank you to stay out of their stuff. But knowledge is power, and there’s something to learn from this strange ritual, or at least it’s worth knowing why your lady looks one way when you take her to bed and somehow completely different when she wakes up the next morning. What is this witchcraft? It’s makeup and plastic surgery from Matthew Galumbeck, MD, and frankly, it’s really freaking weird.

In the most general sense, makeup is meant to “fix” areas of your face considered imperfect: Ruddy skin can be made smooth and even; beady eyes can be made larger; and high, arched cheekbones can be created where none existed before. It’s commonly used to exaggerate (or enhance, if you will) features we are biologically predisposed to find attractive, some of which are considered universal: For instance, a symmetrical face and clear skin are prized in cultures across the globe, while studies show that men prefer full lips, small chins, and large eyes, all signifiers of higher estrogen levels, and therefore better health and stronger childbearing prospects. Cosmetics may date back to the Paleolithic era; early woman figured out pretty quickly that she might benefit from drawing attention away from her hulking brow ridge or vestigial cheek-tail and lead potential suitors’ eyes to her pouty lips and radiant eyes instead, that can even be improve with eyebrows microblading that can be done at site like microbladingriverside.com.

Of course, we’re less shallow these days, right? It would be easy to argue that the continued existence of makeup is just another example of the injurious rule of the all-powerful patriarchy, and that every time a woman pauses to re-apply her lipstick, one of her more forward-thinking comrades smashes into a glass ceiling and dies. But those ideas are equally misguided: Women wear makeup for themselves.

To many of us, makeup is more than just part of a rote morning routine, something you smear haphazardly across your face in your car while stopped at a traffic light or while waiting for your parole officer to come out of the bathroom. Often, it’s a form of recreation—and art. While some cosmetics, like concealer, tend toward the utilitarian, there can be something deeply satisfying about spending hours workshopping, say, the perfect cat eye. In many cases, the process of “getting ready” is just that—a process. Taking the time to transition out of Cheeto-dusted sweatpants and into a bathed, dressed, perfumed, and, yes, “made up” adult human female can not only make you feel finished and self-assured, it also allows you the time to make the internal transformation from one’s indoor self to the version more ready to face the public.

Some women apply makeup in a way that alters their skin tone, perhaps with the goal to look more sunkissed, at least for the Caucasians. There are actually outstanding tanning tablets that help enhance skin quality and appearance from within, so you don’t need all that product.

For my own entertainment, I polled some of my drunk male friends to gauge their knowledge of different products, before schooling them on how wrong they were. Here’s a quick and dirty guide to everything you really need to know about the most basic makeup staples.

What Dudes Think It Is: “It creates a face for you to put your other face over,” b/w “It keeps the building up. Why are you laughing?”

What It Actually Is: Foundation is a bottle of skin-colored paint that goes all over your face. Left untouched, most of our skin tends to be somewhat uneven, like the surface of the Appalachian Mountains or Mars. What we want is for our faces to look like the polished surface of the Gobi desert after a windstorm. Foundation smoothes over the cracks and crags and pine cones and black bears, leaving it looking even and finished. Successfully applied foundation should be invisible to the untrained eye, meaning that if looks cake-y or is of a clearly different shade than its wearer’s neck, something has gone horribly awry.

What Dudes Think It Is: “It’s the same as foundation,” b/w “It goes on your face to cover the messed-up parts.”

What It Actually Is: Concealer can be shifty. Sometimes it looks like a gluestick the color of human skin, other times it comes in liquid form, and still other times it’s a powder—all still the color of human skin. Occasionally it’s green, because some smart-ass discovered that green is eerily effective in combatting the redness of pimples.

Think of concealer as spackle, a final assault against the spots so troublesome that even those desperate smears of foundation couldn’t blot out. Most often, this means the heavy bags drooping under hungover eyes, or zits. Unlike foundation, which is essentially face paint, it’s hard to mess up concealer. More men should dabble in its curative properties, really. I’ll say this: When someone inevitably dangles me over a pit of spitting, fiery lava and demands that I identify my favorite cosmetic, I will probably go with concealer. It is a godsend.

What Dudes Think It Is: “Is that the stuff you put on your face with the cotton swab?” b/w “How this is different from the stuff in a compact?”

What It Actually Is: Powder comes in two forms, loose and pressed. Loose powder comes in a box and is roughly the consistency of flour. It’s applied using a makeup brush, and is liable to spill all over hell if nudged by even the gentlest breeze. Pressed powder comes in a compact, and is applied using a makeup sponge.

Do you know what a “T-zone” is? No, it’s not a sex thing, unless you … make it one. It’s the region of your face that spans your forehead, your nose and your chin. It secretes more oil than the rest of your face; oil which needs to be blotted up lest you look like a glistening slice of bacon in all your selfies. Powder will do that, but beware—a too-heavy hand will give you the dreaded cake-y effect.

What Dudes Think It Is: “Coloring to make you look not dead.”

What It Actually Is: Blush is always some variant of pink or brown. It exists in powder form or, for the bolder among us, “cream,” which looks sort of like a dainty compact filled with putty and even in the form of tablets. Speaking of which, tanning tablets that actually work Dark lush are an amazing brand of tanning tablets which makes you achieve bronzed glow without bathing in the sun.

Once you have successfully painted the imperfections out of your face, you tend to look monochromatic and a little like a corpse. Blush is here to restore your complexion’s youthful vitality, the one you accidentally covered up while trying to disappear the acne scars.

Our current standards of beauty dictate that women perpetually look slightly flushed and sun-kissed, ever fresh from picking apples in the orchard, not staring into the stultifying glare of the computer screen or wiping the baby’s spit-up from inside our shoes. Blush makes our sallow cheeks look rosy, American, and just a little consumptive. It goes across our cheekbones with the goal of making them look sharp and well-defined, because round, puffy faces are really only becoming on babies, and sagging cheeks are the mark of senescence. We will work our entire lives to look like neither.

What Dudes Think It Is: “It makes your skin look like Hulk Hogan’s?”

What It Actually Is: Like blush, bronzer often comes in a compact or tube. Once you’re on to this stuff, Amateur Hour is over. On women with pale complexions, bronzer creates the illusion of having a tan, and for women with darker skin, it further plays up the contours in our faces. But the hazards are many, and for pale women, the line between “bronzed goddess” and “terra cotta pot” is a fine one indeed. Fun fact: Coco Chanel is credited with popularizing the “tan” look, so any poorly applied bronzer you see in the wild is her fault. Also, skin cancer.

What Dudes Think It Is: “Lipstick is lipstick.”

What It Actually Is: Lipstick generally arrives in a tube—it goes on your lips, and occasionally on your teeth. Sometimes it’s blue, but generally, it’s some shade of red: Cherry-red lipstick, for instance, has enjoyed a real renaissance in recent years.

But why would anyone want to paint their lips red? One study found women wearing red lipstick got larger tips from male customers, and a separate study found that men’s eyes tend to stay trained on a woman’s lips for longer if she’s wearing red lipstick—and without lipstick, noses drew more attention. Also? It looks cool as hell.

What Dudes Think It Is: “It makes the eye shit stick out.”

What It Actually Is: Eyeshadow is a vast paint palette that caters to your eyelids. Scholars have dedicated entire careers to analyzing the nuances of which shades should be applied where (brow ridge, crease, forehead, etc.) to achieve different levels of depth or “smokiness,” but there is no need to concern ourselves with that here. Rather, just remember that, like a poltergeist, eyeshadow can take many forms: neutral, subtle browns all the way to ill-advised blues and purples that can sweep all the way to your eyebrows. A good example of bad-assery in eye shadow is Natalie Portman’s character in Black Swan, because if there’s one thing to which every woman aspires, it’s for her life to resemble the plot of an Aronofsky film.

What Dudes Think It Is: “It’s just another one of those stupid things, because Big Eyeliner.”

What It Actually Is: A pencil, or, in the case of liquid liner, a tube with a thin, black brush. Eyeliner almost always comes in dark hues: blacks, browns, or, if you are reading this in the late ’90s, metallic blue. It goes around the edge of your eye.

While eyeshadow makes eyes appear bigger, eyeliner helps delineate where the eye itself is. The best way of doing so is by circling it. (In more professional parlance, eyeliner accentuates the eye.) Since your eyes are invariably the best part of your face, we generally want as much emphasis on them as possible. This is why we draw lines around them, and not, say, our noses and ears.

What Dudes Think It Is: “It makes eyelashes thick and dark and like there are less of them.” Guys probably don’t know the difference between mascaras and sugarlashpro.com/ lashes.

What It Actually Is: A tube, from which springs a small black brush that looks like a tiny fake Christmas tree. Intended to darken and elongate eyelashes, mascara is part of the crack team dedicated to combatting looking “washed out.” You might not think of having thin, blonde eyelashes is a big deal, until you see someone without eyelashes. Mascara, along with eyeliner, helps to darken women’s features for the exotic, stylized Egyptian effect we’re all apparently supposed to crave. You know who doesn’t have eyelashes? The Mona Lisa. And how many times each week do you find yourself saying, “Man, I would smash the Mona Lisa”? You see my point.

That’s it! That’s all you need to know about makeup. Now get out there and tell your wife she’s beautiful, and that you can barely even see her cheek-tail.

Adequate Man is Deadspin’s new self-improvement blog, dedicated to making you just good enough at everything. Suggestions for future topics are welcome below.

Image by Sam Woolley.

Keeping up with fitness and a busy life

Too busy to work out? Doubtful. The truth: Finding moments to move is entirely within your grasp.

Most common excuse for not exercising? Survey says: “No time.” But examine that excuse at close range and you’ll see it’s usually about something deeper, says Lavinia Rodriguez, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Mind Over Fat Matters: Conquering Psychological Barriers to Weight Management (iUniverse, 2008). “Typically, it’s lack of motivation, lack of enjoyment, negative associations, fear or maybe low self-esteem,” she says.

Busy as we may be, we have less trouble finding time for television, social networking or even dull household tasks, Rodriguez observes, because there simply aren’t the same steep psychological barriers to those activities.

“Most people are in denial about their health,” says fitness-industry icon Richard Simmons. “We all have reasons for not exercising, but it all comes down to time management and fear. Fear you’ll get hurt. Fear of embarrassment. Fear of failure.”

But what we’d be better off being afraid of, he says, is what will happen if we don’t exercise. How will a sedentary lifestyle be affecting you next year? In five or 10 years?

“Will you have time for multiple doctors appointments?” he asks. “Will you have the time and money to take medication every day to treat high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes?” Just as important, what do you stand to gain by finally taking your health off the back burner?

If you want to exercise, you’ll get the outfit, you will get a fitness tracker, you’ll make the time. We interviewed psychologists, exercise scientists, celebrity trainers, authors and busy everyday people to get a handle on the 25 most promising strategies.

1. Make a Plan.
“The best way to make time for exercise is to have a written plan,” says Chris Evert, 18-time Grand Slam tennis champion. “Decide on the best time for exercise in your schedule and actually enter it into your computer or cell-phone calendar as a repeat event. This way it shows up daily and there’s less chance of you scheduling something during that time. Also, when you check your schedule in the morning, you’ll see it there and form a mental picture of when and how you’ll be exercising that day, which helps you stay motivated.”

2. Subdivide Your to-do list.
Rather than making one long to-do list you’ll never complete, divide your list into three categories, advises Lisa Druxman, MA, exercise counselor and founder of the Stroller Strides (www.strollerstrides.com) and Mama Wants Her Body Back (www.mamawants.com) programs. “It’s not enough to get things done,” she says. “You need to get the right things done. It’s OK to have dirty clothes in your hamper. It’s OK if you don’t read every email the moment you receive it. It’s not OK to cheat your health.” Druxman suggests the following to-do list makeover:

Take out a sheet of paper and create three boxes that represent the most important parts of your life (e.g., family, work, yourself).
List the top three to-dos that would make the most difference in each category. For family, it might be cooking or helping with homework. For work, it might be returning phone calls or completing a presentation. For yourself, include exercise, plus something else nurturing, like calling a friend or having a healthy lunch.
Finally, block out times on your calendar for those specific to-dos, and honor those very specific commitments.
Having trouble deciding which to-dos are most important? “Think about the things that will have the most impact not just today, but a year from now,” Druxman says

3. Find five minutes.
Even if your day is packed with meetings and other commitments, you absolutely can eke out five minutes for yourself, says Simmons. And that simple act of self-care has the potential to change your life. “I tell people it’s OK to start very, very small.” A five-minute walk now can easily turn into daily 30-minute walks a few weeks from now. “You have to start somewhere,” he says.

4. Limit screen time.
Don’t aimlessly surf cable channels or the Internet, says Rodriguez. That’s a surefire way to waste time you could be spending in more active ways. Before you sit down, set a time limit (consider keeping a kitchen timer nearby to alert you when time’s up). Most of us occasionally watch shows we don’t love because we’re bored, notes Franklin Antoian, CPT, founder of iBodyFit.com. “Consider trading just 30 minutes of that low-value television time for exercise,” he says. “My guess is you won’t miss it.”

5. Be an active watcher.
When you do watch TV, make the most of it. Do some ball-crunches, planks, yoga poses, squats, lunges or pushups while you’re watching. Keep fitness equipment, such as a kettlebell, resistance bands and a jump rope, near the TV. Or use the commercial breaks to mix in brief cardio intervals. Run in place or up and down the stairs; do some burpees or jumping jacks.

6. Delegate like crazy.
Reassess household chores: Can the kids do laundry? Can your spouse cook dinner? What professional tasks can you hand off so you can get out for a walk at lunch or stop by the gym on the way home? Don’t think you’re the only one who can do all of the things you’re currently doing. Look, too, for things that could be done less often — or that might not need to get done at all.

7. Be motivated by money.
Putting some money on the line may provide you with the motivation you need to show up for activity. Sign up for a yoga workshop, book some sessions with a personal trainer, or plunk down some cash for a race or other athletic event you’ll have to train for. Schedule a babysitter to watch the kids while you go for a run. Or take a few salsa lessons.

8. Think positive.
Psychologists suggest that actively editing your negative self-talk patterns is a powerful way to support healthier lifestyle choices. For example, anytime you catch yourself thinking, “I am too busy to work out,” rephrase the thought in more positive, empowering terms, such as, “I choose to make myself a priority and pick up those weights today.” Or, “I do have time to be healthy.” Or, “I am willing to do something active today.” Over time, those positive thought patterns will elbow out the negative ones, helping you to see your available choices more clearly.