Are you Lowering your Networking Standards?

Photo cred: Coal Miki

At what point do you consider someone a trusted connection?

Is it after a tweet or two?

Is it after an email?

Is it after a skype chat?

Do you have to meet in person first?

How many times?

Let me phrase it another way.  What does it take for you to trust someone enough to recommend them to others as a professional?

I see social media tools constantly launching with new ways to help people connect with each other.  But as it becomes easier to connect with someone, it seems like we lower our standards for what qualifies as a “trusted connection”, or even as a friend.

What social media allows us to do is create these passive relationships, or “weak ties“.  People have always created weak ties with others, but with social media it becomes possible to do it on a much larger scale.

Now we’re (the social media bubble) even doing it in person.  There’s something that always bugged me about bump and hashable type apps.

Instead of really talking to a person and taking the time to get to know them when you first meet, you can just do a quick info swap on hashable.  It’s this “I’ll get to know her later” mentality.  It weakens our relationships.

The guys at addieu have built something better, because it actually connects the accounts.  It’s more permanent so the exchange actually means something.

Information about a person doesn’t create a relationship, interactions do.

Have you been making real connections with people?  Or are you just bookmarking as many people as possible for later?

Be Honest, Do You Like Everyone In Your Community?

Photo cred: Kaitlyn Kalon

At the #cmgrchat yesterday, I got into this debate with other community managers.  Some people believed that a community manager doesn’t have to pretend to like and engage with some members of their community.

Really?  So you’re telling me if you didn’t have your community manager job over there at your company, you’d still sincerely enjoy interacting with ALL of these members of your community?!

Even the creepy ones?  Even the assholes? Even the trolls?

Now I’m not saying it’s impossible to develop real relationships with people in your community.  If you’re not making any real relationships in the end, then you’re probably in the wrong line of work.

To say that you sincerely care about, and enjoy interacting with, EVERYONE in your community sounds like a load of crap.  There are always going to be people who you usually wouldn’t care for, that you have to engage with because it’s your job.

I’m not talking about the will to help people.  It’s possible to love helping people…although I still find it hard to believe that you enjoy helping every troll and asshole that talks trash about you and your company.

I’m talking about the concept of “engaging” or “building relationships”.  Dare I say… a lot of the people that we engage with in our “personal” professional community aren’t people we’d usually interact with.  We do it, because it can help our careers in the future.

A good community manager isn’t really building relationships for themselves, they’re building that connection to the brand and the rest of the community.

As a community manager, you are a representative of your company.  All of your job related interactions should respect that fact.  You’re not engaging with people for yourself, you’re engaging with people for your company.

So in the end, you have ask yourself… would my company want me to engage with this person?

Disagree?

Join the Discussion: Building your Network vs. Enhancing Current Relationships

Photo cred: D. Sharon Pruitt

One year ago, I was just graduating college.  I had only really been networking for a few months, so it was still very new to me.

Every day, I’d meet someone new, who would introduce me to someone else, and so on…  Before I knew it, I had a healthy sized network of trusted professionals that I could turn to.  Many of them have became close friends over time.  Others not so much.

The problem is that all connections, even those connections that you have become so close with, can fall out of touch over time.  There are a number of reasons for this happening…

  1. We all have jobs to do which means less time to “catch up”.
  2. As our networks grow, we can’t commit as much time to keeping up with current connections.
  3. The worst reason but one that needs to be addressed: You just don’t need those people as much as you used to.
  4. Sometimes you just go different ways.  It happens with friends too.

It happens, but I don’t like it.  I feel terrible some days when I see someone cross my twitter feed and realize how long it’s been since I’ve spoken to them.

I understand that it happens…but I also feel like I can do more to enhance my current connections, instead of focusing only on expanding my network.

Have you faced this dilemna?  Please, share your thoughts in a comment.

You can also join us for a full discussion on this topic at the #u30pro chat on Thursday (May 27th) at 8pm est on twitter.

Real Relationships

Photo cred: Olga

Photo cred: Olga

We all have an agenda.  We’re all here, connecting online, to get something out of it.

In #socialmedia chat this week hosted by Chris Brogan, this topic came up and drove a pretty solid conversation.

Can we claim to develop truthful, real relationships when we’re ultimately looking to get something out of those relationships?

I love to connect with people.  I value the relationships I have built online and consider many to be close friends.  At the same time, I am online with an agenda to build my career, to create valuable professional connections and to create opportunities.

Take this one step further.  You’re supposed to engage before you pitch.  Build a relationship with a blogger before pitching them.  But if the relationship is a means to an end, where you’re ultimately looking to get coverage, how real can that relationship be?

I think you can do both.  Be realistic but be real at the same time.  You’re there to get something out of it the same way those around you are there to get something out of it.  But the existence of an agenda doesn’t mean that you can’t develop real relationships along the way.

Here’s 3 ways to know if a relationship is real…

  1. The relationships doesn’t end after the lead. Engagement will follow through.  As I said in the chat, relationships should be timeless even after the sale, or they’re not relationships, they’re leads.
  2. The engagement is mutual and meaningful. Both parties engage consistently with each other in more than passing bits of conversation.  They must have sincere interest in one another.
  3. It’s not all agenda. Is one party only engaging when they need something?  That’s not a relationship.

In the end, only you know whether or not the relationships you’re building are real, or just part of your agenda.

Are you creating real, meaningful relationships?  Or are you pretending to create relationships in order to generate leads?  Where’s the “line”?